Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
