so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
