How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
