What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
