I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Randomize
