dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
