i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize