dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
she told me i tasted like america
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
