I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
