yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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