I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
