I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize