Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
