Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
