Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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