yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
