i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
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we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
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If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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