I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
