I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
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She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
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I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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