he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
