We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
