So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
