had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
