I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Too much gin, very little bucket
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
