How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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