i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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