Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
