Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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