D3 body, D1 cock
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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