We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
