she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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