I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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