the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
