Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
