I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Randomize
