I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
