You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
