it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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