their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
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