ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
