Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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