Did you just see the Batmobile???
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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