There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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