He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
