If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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