I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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