help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
