my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
