I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
