i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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