If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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