I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
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