Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
