Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
