there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I believe in your delicious
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
