My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize