Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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