he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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