I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
