I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
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Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
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And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.