I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.