So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
