porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
