Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
