No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
