she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize