im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
