You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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